Large Naked ‘Woman’ Creates Havoc For Southeast US Residents
Written by wolverat on March 21, 2020
A southeast US resident has been experiencing very bizarre activity on his property. A large naked ‘woman’ has been causing havoc for him and his neighbors over the past several weeks
I recently came across the following account:
“To begin I’m not crazy, nor am I hallucinating. I’m not selling anything, so you don’t have to buy anything. I habitually rise early, around 4:00 am most days, and my custom is to go outside and light my pipe just before the sun rises. That morning I was outside with a cup of tea just before dawn. I was thumbing a bowl of tobacco in my pipe when I heard a shuffling toward the pine trees at the edge of my property. The back of my house faces the edge of a thick lot of short pine trees, and I see critters run in and out of it all the time, so I assumed the noise was an armadillo or something. But when I looked up I saw what looked like an obese woman with sagging breasts but her head was kind of like an odd lump on the shoulders. Very small and without hair or features like a typical head. I immediately knew it wasn’t an animal of any sort, and I set my things down on the patio table and called out to her. There was just enough light from the floodlights on my house to see a large bare bottom turn and run away. I could very easily hear the thumping sounds of feet in the pines.
I called the police right then and there, and told them what I’d seen. Three county deputies responded within twenty minutes, and they scoured my entire property, and searched around the edge of the pine trees. For over an hour, I recalled what I’d seen, giving them every detail I could remember. None of us could come up with any explanation, as I know all of my closest neighbors personally since I have only two neighbors. The lot of pine trees itself is 20+ acres, and connects to a stretch of grassland where the closest humans would be whoever is on the interstate! I urged them to search the pines, convinced there was a naked woman running around in there. Methamphetamine and other harsh drugs are not unknown where I live, and in my years living in this region have seen my share of crazed addicts. The deputies told me they couldn’t search just then, and that they would need help. They filed a report, and told me to go inside and lock my doors. I did so. I also retrieved my pistol from the bedroom and stuck it in my waistband.
Around 1:00 pm a new lot of deputies came knocking, and I walked them around exactly where I’d seen this person. Two of them hung back with me while the others went into the pines looking around. They spent about a half hour in there before they came back with no evidence or explanation. They were all very helpful but didn’t sound very concerned and eventually left after scanning around my backyard a bit too.
I told my sister and close friends about the incident, and we all speculated for a while about it. Every morning since then when I went out to have my morning smoke my eyes were fixed on the pines, but I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary until I was up late one night.
As an early riser I typically fall asleep in my chair around 9:00 pm as I’m getting up in years and don’t have the stamina I once had. But one night I’d been entertaining guests and had made a pot of strong coffee, so I couldn’t sleep. I’m normally a tea drinker, so I’m somewhat sensitive to coffee’s strength. It was around 1:00 am and my friends had left around an hour before. I cleaned up a bit then stepped out back with a glass of wine to have a before bed smoke. I turned the back lights on and stepped out and I immediately saw the fat woman again. This time I could see her much better. When the dim light hit her body she moved like a dog would if it had suffered an injury. It was a natural lope for an animal but not for a human. I could see her face this time but it looked like she didn’t have a nose and her head was entirely too small for her large body. She loped into the pines again but this time I ran towards her as fast as my legs could carry me. I have very little cartilage left in my knees so it wasn’t very fast. I heard her shuffling away into the pines just as I reached the tree line, then I called the police.
They said they were on their way so I went back inside, turned on all the outside lights, and grabbed a flashlight and my pistol. I told them everything I’d seen and again everything I’d seen before, and this time they went deep in the pines. I could see their flashlights flickering around and they finally came back and said they couldn’t find anything. They advised me again to lock my doors and keep my gun close at hand. After the police left it was almost 3:00 am, and when I went inside my cat Augustus was growling at the back window. His tail was twice its normal size and he was in a fit mood. I decided to try to nap in my big chair hoping my cat would join me but we were both too nervous I saw.
Just before dawn I’d almost fallen asleep when Augustus began growling loudly again and slapping at the small window. I turned on the lamp and got a full glimpse of the half face of the large woman. I knew it was her immediately. Her face has holes where a nose should be and swollen lips. Her eyes were dark brown all over and not like normal eyes. I got up and yelled pointing my pistol at her and she turned and ran. I saw her scramble away through the window then went to the patio door and turned the lights on so I could see better. Her breasts were swinging and the mass of her body as she ran toward the pines. I opened the door and fired two shots toward the top of the pines. I had no desire to harm her but I wanted to put the fear in her that I was armed and done playing around. I’m not a young man and I live alone but with a faithful cat and several guns.
I again called the police, only this time I went to their office to speak to a detective. She was more than helpful and said they would patrol the area regularly and that if someone was running around out there they would catch her. This was in January, and I didn’t have any more problems except for my guard cat and I not being able to sleep very well at night. I haven’t seen her since then but I know in my heart now she isn’t really a woman but something else. It’s been three weeks since I’ve last heard from the police about it but I lately have the feeling that she is still out there. Augustus and me are ready if she comes back though he is much braver than I am. I’m thinking about moving away.” H
3-4-20 “I am 64 years old. I live alone, but living with Augustus definitely feels more like a roommate than a pet. Yes I have gone into the pines several times since the last incident, but I didn’t find anything strange. I even asked a friend of mine to accompany me once, but we didn’t get far before the wind and rain picked up. I have no sons, only a daughter who lives in Idaho with her husband and my granddaughter.” H
3-17-20 – “Tonight one of my neighbors came to my house (the closest of the two from me). I don’t want to say any names because he is a genuine guy and I like him a lot, but I have known him for a few years now, and I trust him. I am going to talk to him more later today. My neighbor went on asking me if I had heard screaming and loud thud sounds coming from the pine sprawl. I said I hadn’t and told him I had been listening to music on my laptop most of the evening so I wouldn’t have heard anything anyway, but I did mention that my cat had been darting around and that might have been him hearing those sounds. Both of my neighbors know about what happened to me as I went directly to their doors to tell them about it. I wanted them to be aware and now my neighbor is hearing what he described as definitely human screams and thuds that sounded like trees falling but without the snapping sounds of branches. I told him to load a gun, and keep an ear out for anything else. Me and Augustus have gotten comfortable now in the living room and we don’t take chances anymore. I am going to talk to my neighbor more, including my farthest neighbor later today.” H
“Here is what happened today. I was up very late listening to music. Another tool I use for settling my nerves. I don’t sleep in my bedroom anymore and have started sleeping on my couch or in my big chair. So when Wayne knocked on my door around 1:00 am asking if I had heard the screaming or the big thud sounds, I told him I hadn’t because I had been listening to music and had not looked at my phone when he said he tried to call me a bunch but saw my lights on so he came over. I told him to load a gun and sleep lightly. I did the same because it was strange to see Wayne so late. Wayne owns a building materials business so he’s an early riser like me. I slept for 6 hours and got up to make some breakfast and feed Augustus. Wayne called me not long after saying that the police had been to our far neighbor’s house and that they were all in the field and in the pines. Wayne had not slept and had breakfast made so he invited me to eat.
I crossed the giant grass lot that separates our property and I could see police in the field walking around. Over breakfast Wayne called our neighbor again and asked if we could stop by and he said he wanted to talk to us. Our farthest neighbor is a younger man in his 30’s and he’s a good no nonsense fellow made of hard stuff, but he looked really tired and shaken when Wayne and I got there. He and his girlfriend were dozing off when they were startled by shrill screaming and thrashing at their back door. He said it was like a giant fish flopping on the door and horrible screaming. Their door was something awful. There was major damage to it and deep gashes and mud. They said the thrashing at the back stopped and it was quiet for a minute. As he was getting dressed to go investigate something slammed itself against the bedroom window and screamed against the glass. His poor girlfriend described it as a throat scream that could have come from a man or a woman. They were both very shaken but were putting on brave faces. He said he grabbed his shotgun and ran outside immediately. He said he heard the screaming getting farther away along the edge of the pines toward Wayne’s property. He didn’t see anything.
The deputies were still walking around outside, and a few of them I recognized. Sure enough that detective I spoke to kept her word and they had been patrolling the area closely all this time, so they arrived fairly quickly my neighbor said. The loud thuds that Wayne heard could not be explained but we have made plans to hike deep through the pines and explore. We all and the deputies had a long talk on my far neighbor’s property. In the end, they believed it to be animals or possible malicious mischief. I think from the tone of one of them they suspected Wayne or myself of playing a prank on them in the night but they didn’t directly accuse us. They left us with the advice that if we find someone sneaking around our property at night acting aggressive and strange to do what we feel is necessary for our safety. We have agreed to keep in close contact with each other from now on and to immediately send texts whenever something happens so we can all assist. I take naps in the day now to stay up a bit later at night.” H
NOTE: I’m going to keep tabs on this evolving story. The location is in southeast US, though the witness doesn’t want give out any further detail. If anything new surfaces, I will update here. Lon
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